UrbanSkies

You Can't Make Up This Stuff

Lots of exciting events in the urban skies lately...

On Saturday, we celebrated Chase's 21st birthday (version 2). It was a festive evening. Dinner at Buca di Beppo jump started the activities. I ordered the large family size chicken parmesan to split with Chase. I always forget that pasta is not included with any of the meals, so the plate was three chicken filets breaded and herbed up nicely. I had one, Chase had one, and the third was wrapped up in a to-go box (Remember this for later). Then it's downtown for drinking and dancing fun. Unfortunately, I was hopped up on painkillers because of my crazy lymph node illness, so Mr. Sobriety was my date that night. First stop was Apple Bar for delicious martinis. I sipped a few just to get the taste.

(Quick commentary on Apple Bar: What's the freakin' appeal of the place? The martinis are excellent, but the music blares raucously making conversation impossible, and seating is limited at best. It's always a jumping point to another location...we go there, slurp down one drink, then leave for greener pastures. Ambience perhaps? *shrug* Or those wickedly delicious martinis? Yep, definately the drinks. Now back to the story...)

Then it was off to The Can for dancing and more drinking. I finally ordered a Cape Cod (the official drink of urbanskies.com), and upon imbibing the vodka concoction, proceeded to the dance floor for hours of undulating goodness.

Yes people, I dance.

Ernest darts off with some guy for lip-locking fun. Chase is grinding (getting ground?) with some hotty Latin boy on the dance floor. And I'm in a sea of sweaty men, soaking in the night. Nice, eh?

So, the evening concludes, and we're returning to the car, enjoying the crisp cold front sweeping through Austin. Once there, I notice ...

I WAS ROBBED!

Someone smashed the rear driver-side window and stole my "everything" bag (complete with eyeglasses, meds, checkbook, random papers and season tickets to the Austin Wranglers), a pair of shorts and yes, the leftover chicken parmesan. Relief swept over me when I realized that the renter's insurance policy I purchased the previous week covers all the stolen items (less the parmesan). Finally, some good timing in my life. Fortunately, I had taken the laptop out of the bag right before I left to meet Chase & Co. at Buca. The reporting policeman who arrived ventured that it was one of Austin's many downtown vagrants...obviously not a smart one, as he stole the pair of shorts while passing up the warm pullover next to it in the back seat. But at least he ate well. After the report is taken, we sweep the glass out of the seats, and I drive Ernest and Chase home glowing in the fact that I purchased my renters policy in the nick of time.

But the story doesn't end there.

First thing Monday morning, I stop all the checks at my credit union. As soon as I return to my humble cubicle, I receive a phone call from Mike, a fireman with the Austin Fire Department. Mike likes to row on Town Lake in the mornings, and on Monday morning, he found a black bag floating near the Congress Avenue bridge. He got my phone number off the oil change receipt inside and called me. Much astonished, I agreed to pick up the bag at his firehouse. The bag was sitting on a picnic table out back, drying in the rays of the sun. Everything was soaked. And everything was still inside. The dumbass vagrant stole not one thing out of the bag. Not the pills, not the checkbook, not the tickets. Nothing! He just lobbed it in the lake. I thanked Mike profusely for his efforts in fishing my belongings out of Town Lake, and upon returning to the office, ordered some thank you cookies to be delivered to his firehouse.

So now, I'm dealing with my insurance company to get my window fixed and replace the damaged belongings. I have my eyeglasses back and my season tickets remain in good condition (wrapped in many layers of plastic), but the bag is wretched, my checkbook is detroyed and my meds are contaminated. The cost in money and time to replace these items, plus the window, reaches several hundred dollars. All this, just for the most expensive chicken parmesan ever. That bastard better have enjoyed it!

Posted by Ben at May 5, 2004 10:45 AM